Remember when you began dating your wife or girlfriend?
Those moments when the touch of her hair, the wisp of a kiss or
the electricity you felt when holding hands? Do you still feel the same way or do you feel that you are missing some of those feelings?
Of course you still love your mate, probably more than ever before, but unfortunately most of the excitement has, somehow, disappeared.
You have fallen into the same day, in, day out, doldrums. Time has passed and you are into a routine, and by doing so have lost that special feeling you got just by smelling her scent or hearing her voice.
Well, stop thinking about "what was" and start putting some
of the excitement and romance back into your life !
Many successful couples, who have been together for many years,
know the secret of a successful relationship is always finding ways to keep it fresh, and what I am going to discuss is just one way that you can put the "oomph" back into your lives .
Have you ever felt the smoothness and delicate touch that a silk blouse gives. That shimmery fabric which is so delicate to the touch and sexy, clinging to her body? It is no wonder that the sexiest looking lingerie is made of silk or a satiny material.
So, why not give your loved one a delicate item to share with you in the bedroom. Watch her as she wears this item and as she caresses you with the feel of the garment against your skin.
This, for sure, can bring excitement to your life but there is
something else you can share equally, which should give you even more pleasure and a sense of heightened desire. That "something else" is satin sheets.
The smoothness of the fabric, cool against your skin, as your bodies glide across this wonderful material, creating a sensual and exciting moment.
Wow, it is such a turn-on!
Prepare the moment by putting these fantastic feeling sheets on your bed. Have some sexy lingerie laid out for your mate and light some scented candles to set the mood.
When you first crawl under the sheets it feels a bit cool, but they warm up quickly from the heat of your bodies, full of sexual desire.
The feeling of silky satin all around you is so enticing and very erotic.
The End. The journey is over. You feel rejected. Hopeless. You don't want to go back in the jungle again. You may even have that dread feeling of failure.
Suddenly, all the love songs at the radio seemed to have been written for you. You want to stay in bed. Shut all the doors and the windows. Bring the kids to your relatives for a while. You don't feel like talking to anybody now. You swear to yourself that you will never get involved with someone again, half believing it.
Life is much more exciting than that. Besides, you are not the last and only person experiencing a separation. And, it might not be your last breakup either. With the proper mental tools, break ups could be less painful.
Breaking up, I prefer to call it an opportunity for a change of habits. It's like having an addiction and you need to cut yourself from it. It's painful but necessary. The good news about it is that it doesn't need to be Hell on Earth. There are effective ways to go through this process with smooth sailing.
First, you absolutely need to stop thinking of the great moments that you had together. Chances are that those moments happened a long time ago, not to mention, not that often either. Keep in mind the reasons of your break up, until your mind is in sync with your heart. And don't keep in touch with that person for now, if you can. Or reduce the frequency of contacts at its bare minimum.
Write a letter
You need to let the emotions out. Write everything that frustrates you, made you angry, sad, etc... You don't necessarily need to send it to your previous partner but at least, this is a proven healing process for you to calm the storm inside. You can choose to keep it somewhere to read for yourself later, when the healing process will be over. You might discover some strength that you are not aware about you.
Make new friends.
You need to socialize more the ever. How do you do that? Go to fairs, reading clubs, sports clubs, art clubs, etc... ask questions, make conversations, and exchange phone numbers with people to do activities and keep in touch. Offer to help with something. Friends come fast like that. Don't jump into another relationship to avoid facing your feelings of emptiness. Chances are that there will be other disappointments. You need to finish the process of unblocking all of your emotions to freely open your heart again to someone else, and increase the chances of success.
Pamper yourself.
Treat yourself. Take naps in the Sun. Get a pedicure. A great massage. Read the bible. Read inspiring texts that will give you strength ( Like the book "Chicken soup for Soul"). Go jogging. Do someYoga. Listen to Jazz music. Eat well. Go pick apples with the kids. You know what I mean; do all the activities that help put your soul to calm.
Stay away from unsupportive people
Neutralized your mind and heart from some comments of your family and friends. I am sure that they really want your good. But they maybe are a little bit .... "clumsy" in the way they express their caring for you " When are you going the get married? You can't go from people to people like that! You are getting old, you know?" or " There are other people you know; 1 lost, 10 found!" (I hate that one). Hang out with people who are taking your mind off things, who understands and gives you the support that you need. I remember reading this about hardships that " It is not only time that heals the heart, but also all the warmth and love around us."
Get a Pet
When I broke up with my last boyfriend, I got a cat. He was so tiny and requested so much of my attention that it fulfilled my need to feel wanted. A pet doesn't replace the love and attention that a boyfriend or girlfriend can give, but, it's all part of the process of having a full life. So get a dog, a cat, a turtle, whatever provides that added value in your life.
Find at least 3 Passions
You will need to get all the strength that you can possibly have to open your heart to fun. Fill your life to the fullest with different passions.
Take cooking lessons, try other sports, and try painting, other arts, and hobbies of some kind. Learning a new thing will keep your mind busy, you will have a new skill and will feel good about yourself and, you will be more interesting for a future mate.
One of my friends was single for at least 2 years. She decided to join a badminton club. The first semester, nobody was really interesting for her. In the second semester, there was still no new blood coming. But she still subscribed because she enjoyed the activity so much. The third semester, this dark handsome policeman join the league and it didn't take long before they hooked up. And today, they share, among other things, this passion. It's an opportunity to have fun together and to be together.
Date Again.
Yes! You read right! Date again! Jump right back on the Horse again! You need to rebuild your self-esteem and being in situations where people from the opposite sex find you interesting will prevent that you go down into that whole. You don't need to get deeply emotionally involved. Date to have fun. Keep the relationships light and simple. Where do you find those people? Go on dating sites, classifieds, friends, and acquaintances. Since you are not out to find a husband and wife yet, you won't be threatening.
Get to the stage of feeling great being single
Take the time to Truly feel fulfilled in a single life. This is a powerful way to find true love because if you are having a great life alone, you will be willing give up your exciting single lifestyle for the person that is really worth it.
Be and Feel Successful
And if you are out for revenge the greatest revenge of all is Success. Take this opportunity to develop your personality even more. Your children, if you have, will be proud of you and people around you will admire your strength and more opportunities will occur.
If you were to consider coming back with your partner, start considering it not before 6 months to a year after the break up. This has given time to you and your partner to reflect on your mutual faults and strengths, and to heal.
Experiencing loss is a difficult moment of our life to pass. But you can take this opportunity to prove to yourself, once again, how much of a winner you are; take this opportunity to transform yourself even more. If you transform your life while you are not in a relationship, with a partner, you will collect the fruits of these initiatives.
The most important thing: laugh, laugh, and laugh. Laugh at every opportunity that life gives you. Feel good and be happy.
Wishing you great success in finding happiness again.
She "fell in love" after having had "a hard time behind her". And soon enough he became very significant for her. And soon enough he decided they should move in together. And soon enough he began to "advise" her "how to do her life", what activities to get involved with, which friends to see or not see, how often to call sick at work, and so on and so forth.
Deep inside she felt he is not for her! Deep inside she knew something is wrong! But she kept being with him, following his "advice", letting him decide almost everything related to her and to them. During the months they spent together she became more and more frustrated, more and more disillusioned and angrier. Still, she stayed in the relationship. And she might have stayed there longer, if it wasn't him who left her for another woman...
Why do people stay in a relationship which isn't good?
This woman's story is not a-typical. It might have happened to you, or to people you know. It is a story which happens often, and is often the theme of a novel or a movie. But if such a story happened to you, the fact that it is not a-typical shouldn't comfort you. What might concern you is the question: what has made you fall for someone like that and for a relationship like that?
In case it has happened once in your life-time, this is one thing. But in case you often find yourself in similar situations, you may want to ask yourself: What's going on here? What attracts me to people who aren't for me? And, most important: What makes me hand on to such people and in such relationships?
Confronting your fears and needs is important
It is only when you ask yourself these questions and are willing to take a closer look at yourself that you can realize what makes you behave in self-sabotaging and self-hurting ways. It might well be that you are driven by uncontrolled needs for love and attention; by the fear of being alone; or by a bottomless neediness to be in a relationship in order to "prove" to yourself that you are desirable, attractive and/or good company (which might help you deal with self-esteem issues).
Whatever the reason for your "falling in love" with people who aren't for you and for "sticking on" with them, it is highly probable that you are frustrated, angry, sad, disillusioned, and insecure about the way you "do" life and relationships.
Why is Self-Awareness is the solution?
In order to figure out the reason for your emotional and behavioral patterns, you may want to consider developing your Self-Awareness. That means, getting in touch with whatever it is that drives you to behave the way you do. It means, unravelling whichever fears and needs might control you; realizing whatever messages about partners and relationships you have internalized at a young age which still control you; acknowledging unrealistic expectations and fantasies you may hold to about love and intimacy.
It is when you develop your awareness and get in touch with a host of factors which exert power of you, that you can begin to change you attitudes and behaviors and become able to find, develop and maintain a healthy and satisfying relationship.
Many have done just that and triumphed. Wouldn't you?
While dating in person usually starts with physical attraction, dating online or pen pal romance often starts with the echo of souls. When the appearance and thoughts are in harmony, we fall in love and have a happy ending. Your heart was pounding when you saw the smiles on her eyelashes. You could have a sleepless night after reading his emails. Whether you find your date online or in person, you could end up with a true love or a broken heart. Pen pal romance or online dating wouldn't change how men and women love, it changes the way how they fall in love.
Many of us had their first pen pal when we're a little kid. We wrote to a kid we had never and will never met. The letters opened a new world for us. Once in a while, we see a romantic story in newspapers or talk shows that pen pals write to each other for years without meeting and finally they fall in love.
The emergence of the Internet and the Web has transformed our planet into a digitalized global village. Tens of million of Internet users login to free adult chat rooms or free teen chat rooms to talk about anything under the sun - love, pets, music and games.
People turn to online dating sites to find love. They browse a few popular dating sites and find the profile they like. The online romance begins. Men and women, boys and girls tend to open their hearts freely in an online environment without worrying about the conflicts in reality. While composing an email in the middle of a night, you discovered your inner beauty which you never realized before.
The moment of the truth is the first time they meet in person. It could be either the end of the romance or the beginning of a new chapter in their relationship. Many relationship experts advise that you should meet your date in person before getting serious.
You're back on the dating scene. But you're worried as it's been a long time since you were single or looking. Regardless of how exciting and new it all seems, it's only natural for one to feel unsure and 'out of practice' when taking the step of going on dates again.
So, I have compiled the ten best things you can do to gain some confidence, and have more fun during this transition.
1) Get a makeover. A new haircut, wardrobe, or updated makeup will not only make you feel better about yourself, it will also help to mark this time of your life as a new beginning, and something to be excited about. If you look and feel great, it will give you more confidence which is always more attractive to others.
2) Don't take it all too seriously to begin with. Look at this time as a chance to get used to talking to others, flirting, coming out of your shell. It doesn't matter if a serious relationship doesn't develop, as long as you are having fun! Enjoying yourself will put others at ease and more people will approach you.
3) Start out by going out with a group of friends first. This will feel more natural to start out with.
4) When on a date, nerves sometimes can take over, and we tend to talk more, try to overcome this. Please try to avoid this. Learn to become a great listener. Also, when you do talk to your date, keep the topics light to begin with. Speak slowly, you've got all night! Try to discuss subjects you are both interested in, which will help the conversation to flow more smoothly.
5) Always have a 'way out' planned in case a date does turn out badly. Take your mobile phone with you, and ask a friend or relative to phone you at a certain time. If you really want to bail out of the date early, you can tell your date after the phone call that you are very sorry, but you're going to have to cut the evening short.
6) Remember your date is just as nervous as you are. They are obviously interested enough to get to know you better, and are therefore just as anxious to make a good impression. Try to spend your time on dates, making the other person feel at ease. Not only will your date appreciate this effort, but you will be focusing less on yourself and how you're 'doing'.
7) Try to keep up to date with current news events before your date. Nobody is suggesting you pore over newspapers for hours on end. However, if you have some understanding of what is going on in the world around you, it'll give you both a conversation topic that is easy to discuss.
8) If you have just suffered a painful breakup, try not to focus too heavily on it. Your date wants to know all about you. Not your ex. Of course, if you are going through a divorce, it's fine to mention it, but keep it to a minimum, and remember your date is not your therapist!
9) Take care of your health. Eat well and exercise. A healthy person is a happy person, and this will reflect well in your self esteem. Know that you are putting your best self forward.
10) If you come across a set back (for example, your date loses interest or you lose interest in your date) don't worry! Look upon it as practice. Remind yourself that the aim was to have fun and you did. Look forward to your next romantic adventure!
SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS
Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. ~Richard Lamm
Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love! ~Hamilton Wright Mabie
Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen. ~Author unknown, attributed to a 7-year-old named Bobby
When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs? ~G.K. Chesterton
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. ~Norman Vincent Peale
Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home. ~Carol Nelson
He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. ~Roy L. Smith
I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. ~Charles Dickens
Christmas is the gentlest, loveliest festival of the revolving year - and yet, for all that, when it speaks, its voice has strong authority. ~W.J. Cameron
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other. ~Burton Hillis
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. ~Andy Rooney
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveller, thousands of miles away, back to his own fire-side and his quiet home! ~Charles Dickens, The Pickwick Papers, 1836
There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries. ~W.J. Cameron
'Twas Christmas broach'd the mightiest ale; 'Twas Christmas told the merriest tale; A Christmas gambol oft could cheer The poor man's heart through half the year. ~Walter Scott
Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves. ~Eric Sevareid
Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time. ~Laura Ingalls Wilder
May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through! ~Author Unknown
I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. ~Charles Dickens
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. ~Larry Wilde, The Merry Book of Christmas
Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart. ~Washington Irving
Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas. ~Peg Bracken
Isn't it funny that at Christmas something in you gets so lonely for - I don't know what exactly, but it's something that you don't mind so much not having at other times. ~Kate L. Bosher
At Christmas, all roads lead home. ~Marjorie Holmes
Instead of being a time of unusual behavior, Christmas is perhaps the only time in the year when people can obey their natural impulses and express their true sentiments without feeling self-conscious and, perhaps, foolish. Christmas, in short, is about the only chance a man has to be himself. ~Francis C. Farley
It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air. ~W.T. Ellis
For centuries men have kept an appointment with Christmas. Christmas means fellowship, feasting, giving and receiving, a time of good cheer, home. ~W.J. Ronald Tucker
Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space. ~Dave Barry
01. Every teardrop is precious so better make sure that if you drop some, it’s worth crying for you can never pick them up and put them back to your eyes.
02. Learn to appreciate the rainbow after cursing the rain. It’s just like loving again after experiencing the pain.
03. Never expect love to always be at its best cause if you do, you’ll never learn to appreciate its existence.
04. Don’t force yourself to fall in love just because you think it’s your turn. Wait for a while, maybe cupids are having a hard time searching for the heart that deserves the kind of love you can give.
05. To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose your true self, to love is to risk not to be loved in return.
06. Words and hearts should be handled with care for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair.
07. Love doesn’t count on the laughter that you shared but on the pain and tears you tried to get over with just for the sake of holding on.
08. Telling someone how you feel does not hurt as much as not saying anything at all to that someone who is deeply in love with you.
09. You can close your eyes from the things you don’t want to see but you can never close your heart from the things you don’t want to feel.
10. No love can hurt as much as the love that can never be and no thought can hurt as much as the thought of a love that could have been.
11. Remember that the more we try to forget someone we love, the more painful letting go will become.
12. The greatest pain in life is to be ignored, to lose the person you love to someone who doesn’t care at all.
13. Be careful to whom you give your heart because when you give your heart to someone, you’re not only giving that person the right to love you back but also the power to hurt you.
14. If you think it’s time to let go, then just let go. There’s no point in looking back to what you have already lost.
15. It is tough to stay single in this world where everybody expects you to be with somebody. What they fail to realize is that staying single is not about having no choice. Rather, it’s an opportunity to make intelligent choices.
16. Just when you think things can't get any worse, they do. I've learned that life is like an hourglass. Sooner or later, everything hits rock bottom. All you have to do is be patient and wait for someone to turn everything back around.
17. The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you want to understand him, listen not to what he says but to what he does not say.
18. The heart is the center of our chest but it beats at the left side. I guess that’s the reason why the heart isn’t always right.
19. When you make decisions, follow your heart and not your mind. For if your mind’s decision fails, you regret. But if your heart fails, you just smile and say, “Nice try.”
20. Happiness lies in those who cry, those who have been hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.
21. Real tears are not those that fall from the eyes and cover the face but are those that fall from the heart and cover the soul.
22. When all the wishes in your mind, all the dreams you’ve had and all the things you’ve ever hoped for soared into the sky and were reflected in someone’s eyes, then you have found your destiny.
23. Love until it hurts and when it hurts, love some more. Love until you don’t care about the pain, until you stop expecting anything in return, until all that matters is loving that person the best way you can.
24. People fall in love not knowing why or how. It’s a very special feeling that it doesn’t require any answer. You just love no matter how stupid you become. But no regrets.
25. Sometimes when you love someone very much, you’d have to go through every tear, every heartache, every pain. Cause in the end, it’s not how much you suffered but how you loved.
Suppose an unmarried girl has a baby. Should her parents have to pay childsupport? Or if a student skips classes, should dad be forced to pay a fine? Does it makes sense to press charges againts a single mom if her teenage son rapes a 12year old girl? These things have actually happened in recent years, indicating that mom and dad had better be careful what they do.
But then the Supreme Court made a ruling a few years ago that 16 year old murderers can be executed for their crimes.
It gets a little confusing , doesn't it? Who is responsible for whom? We can conclude that even though parents exert a strong influence over their children's behaviour, each person makes his own choices and must share in the responsibility for them.
It all boils down to this: we can't excuse our bad behaviour(temper,harmful habits, or lack of love) by blaming our parents. Sure, they'll have to give account to the judge of the universe for the example they set. But how we respond to that example, how we choose to live, is our responsibility.
Have you been blaming everybody but yourself for your problems? Maybe it's time to notice that when you point your finger at someone else, three fingers are pointing back at you.
Sex with your ex can be very tempting if your ex was the greatest lover you ever had or if you are still physically attracted to them. However, having sex with an ex, no matter how shallow or deep and intimate the relationship was, can be very tricky. Why is sex with an ex so appealing? Sex with the ex is appealing for many reasons. We feel already feel comfortable with them, both inside and outside the bedroom. A new relationship or hook-up is generally awkward, and first-time sex is always a little uncomfortable. When having sex with an ex, we know their likes, their dislikes and they know ours as well. Sexual familiarity means the sex will probably be very pleasurable. Sex with an ex often feels like a no-brainer, especially if the sex as being good. Things to consider If you had strong feelings for your ex before, those feelings are likely to surface again after you have sex. If you broke up fairly recently, sexual intimacy is likely to reignite feelings that may still be there, even if you believe that ‘its just sex’ and that the feelings are gone. Having sex with the ex can bring back a flood of emotions and memories. If you are able to stay emotionally uninvolved, your partner might not be able to. Someone’s feelings are certain to get hurt, especially since breakups are rarely a clean cut on both sides. Absence (and sexual longing) can make the heart grow fonder. A fond heart may cause you to forget some of the reasons you are no longer with the person. Sleeping with your ex probably won’t change the problems you’ve had before. It may make matters worse and your healing more difficult. If your ex is dating, there is a possibility that they have had sex with someone else. When monogamy disappears, so does the assurance of safe sex which means that it is probably best to use some type of protection or birth control. There are times when sex with your ex may not be such a bad idea. If your break up was fairly amicable and truly mutually desired, sex may not be a bad idea. Sex may be OK if both parties are trying to reconcile and strongly believe there is a chance they’re meant to be together. It is very important to be honest with yourself and your ex. Don’t make promises that you don’t intend to keep. Do your best not to mislead them.
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